“If you have raced with men on foot and they have worn you out, how can you compete with horses? If you stumble in safe country, how will you manage in the thickets by the Jordan? Jeremiah 12:5
Over the past two years (more like 3), I've asked God to find me a job that works with K's school schedule. To find something to fill my days besides idleness. Of course I choose the idleness.
The past few months He has convicted me on my TV, computer time idle-busyness. With His help I have obeyed and used my time better. He gave me Jeremiah 12:5 as an explanation to what seemed like, but wasn't lack of response on my request.
How can I race with horses if racing with men wears me out? Horses for me is the ministry God wants me to do. The men are the above mentioned time wasters. And I do often feel wore out. To exhausted to do His work.
He revealed this when I was willing to give up on my dreams (writing), willing to move out of my comfort zone (shepherding and service to others), and stop putting my requirements on things (want of an income, time constraints). He wanted me to expect Him to remove barriers and what seemed impossible.
Looking at the things I wanted to do, God didn't really take them away, He just wanted me to do it His way. He lead me to write this blog instead of the writing I did for myself. He made the uncomfortable, comfortable. Showing me that I did have the skills, just not used, to be comfortable in His will. We do not need extra income for a paid position. My husband provides enough for a simple lifestyle we live. I am able to be available to my daughter instead of putting her in child care. I no longer listen to the lie that I need an income for my own security, my own validation - all about me that the world tries to tell me. In my work for God I am earning more than this world could ever give.
Now I'm ready to run with horses.