Kabingo is a good cat. He is a Himalayan and good natured. He puts up with a lot of mild abuse from my daughter's growing years (think Puss in Boots in Shrek - Deck the Halls). We joke that he acts more like a dog than a cat. A few years ago he started to have belly trouble. The vet couldn't find anything wrong with him. Other than getting sick at least once a day, he was healthy and not losing weight. The dr changed his diet, but nothing really helped. So we put him in the spare room when we were out of the house to 'contain' any messes (and keep it off the couch/bed/chair).
We've done this for over two years. I prayed for him to stop. Until a month ago, I didn't think he'd be healed. Then K started to prayer for him. She didn't like his crying when he was in his room (long cat howls). She wanted him to be free. And more importantly, she wanted him to stop being sick.
So when we acknowledged that he wasn't getting sick, thanked God for the answered prayer, I meditated on it. Why was her prayer answered and mine wasn't? What was it about her prayer that was better?
Then my attitude and motivation for my prayer came to me. I prayed for him to stop so I wouldn't be burdened with clean up. I didn't want to be bothered taking him to the vet, buying expensive food, listen to him cry in his room. In case you missed it, my motivation for his healing was very selfish. I also gave up on the prayer, I accepted he would live the rest of his days like that.
K's prayer was motivated out of love for Kabingo. Out of a true desire to see him healed.
It wasn't that God ignored my prayer. It just my prayer wasn't a sincere prayer. God made ways for us to endure the cat's sickness. Helped me get past my desire to get rid of the cat. It gives me something else to think about when my prayer seems to hit the ceiling. Am I truly seeking God's will? or my will?
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