Tuesday, August 5, 2014

Back To School

Being Mama is one of my main ministries.  Today I sent my wee one (not so wee anymore) off to school.

I dealt with my mixed emotions over her return.  Part of me was thinking about my schedule and all the projects around the house I could accomplish.  Guilt came on me...in a subtle way that I didn't know what it was.  I'm looking forward to my girl going away from me large portions of the day...what kind of Mama am I?

I had to put the brakes on with those thought.  I knew then it was guilt.  I have nothing to be guilty about.  One: I did all I could to put a hold on projects so I had extra time with my girl over summer.  Two: I would miss her dearly.  We have thought and prayed about home school, but do not think it is right for us at this time.  Three: If she was with me all the time, those projects would still need to be done and I would have to do them (perhaps with her help.)  So the fact that I look forward to getting things done isn't a bad thing.

I rejoice that she's in an environment that is loving.  I trust the teachers at her school.  She goes to a nice country schools where the class size is still under 25 per class.  I make an effort to get my work done while she's at school so my evenings can be free.

So today I say no thank you to any additional mama guilt.  I am not perfect, nor do I claim to be.  I lose my temper, I become short when I'm focused on other things, I ask for forgiveness and work hard to keep our relationship strong.  I will only listen to real guilt that comes from God that spurs me to seek forgiveness.  He's the standard, not what my head decides.

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