Becoming Martha

My mother-in-law let me borrow Having A Mary Heart In A Martha World. 

God convicted me that I became a Martha the last few hours at camp.  Through a series of happenings, our group was delayed in packing up.  Being the youngest group, each child needed help.  Those picking up our bags were waiting and we we’re still in the process to get things together. 

It became a blur and I was barking out orders.  Well, maybe not barking out orders but I was demanding.  I allowed the stress of the moment get to me and things were no longer fun. 

Of course, I have hope, as the Martha and Mary story goes on, Martha changes.  I know this was a valuable lesson for me and I hope not to forget it.  Since I’m prone to have the Martha attitude, I must be on guard that I choose the right thing. 

³⁸ As Jesus and his disciples were on their way, he came to a village where a woman named Martha opened her home to him. ³⁹ She had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord’s feet listening to what he said. ⁴⁰ But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made. She came to him and asked, “Lord, don’t you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!”

⁴¹ “Martha, Martha,” the Lord answered, “you are worried and upset about many things, ⁴² but few things are needed—or indeed only one.   Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.”  Luke 10:38-42

MTC Session 5 and 6

This post wraps up my review of the Made to Crave Study.  


Session 5:
Failure to Victorious.  I was a failure, no longer.  I am Victorious!  I live within the God boundaries.  He created me, has plans for me and knows what I need.  Within His boundaries I can life life to the fullest.
 
Doing God's work is food for my soul.  I can not go through the day without it! 


Session 6:
Going forward, I must boldly allow God to change me.  To not resist His plans, will, way.  To allow Him to choose what's best for me in all areas of my life.  


Leading a group:
This is the first group I lead.  I'm sadden to report that after session 5, there was a sharp drop off of attendance.  It got to the point to really change.  Those who had higher expectation of change out of this study vanished and even avoided me at church, phone calls and email (I didn't stalk, but did try to make contact and encourage).  I have done this in the past at the beginning of allowing God to remove the sin of gluttony from my life.  


My advice to anyone who starts a study like this: Keep going.  You are not failing, even if there is no substantial changes during the study.  As a whole, there is so much God wants to speak to you.  He wants you to get everything out of this study.  He called you to it.  Listen, do and have patience with God.  He will change you.  Trust Him.  


All that said, I would lead another group.

MTC Session 3 and 4

During session 3, God was speaking to me and many levels.  Some of the following is not from the Made to Crave book. 


I can't, God can - no matter what I set my mind to do.  I will always fail.  God will not!


I want my life to be defined by my obedience to God, nothing else (weight, size, possessions, etc.)  This change in thinking was tremendous for me.  I didn't get the first time around in this study.  Now when the junk starts entering my head, I can compare to how I am obedient and know whether I'm truly failing or succeeding.  If I am failing, I know what I need to do to get back into fellowship with my God, back into obedience.  That is the only thing that matters, really.  From my obedience, I can fulfill all those things I love (spending time with my family, service) and those things I don't (cleaning the litter box or middle of the night sickness.)


That even though I'm having a lot of muscle pain, I can move (which WILL help) in that pain to glorify God.


That I need to consider my motives.  This clicked for some reason.  It's like a duh? moment.  It's so reasonable, but I didn't do it.  This made to really look at why I stopped eating sweets.  Why I'm using the computer, TV, books I read, in all that I do in obedience.  Is it for me or something else?  For if I don't know why I'm doing something, shouldn't I give it more thought?


Lastly for session 3, I need to bring my mind, body and spirit into communion.  The verse says Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.  Matthew 22:37.  I found that I would two of these things in communion, working together for my good.  However, I need to have all three working together.  I need to work my body so that it improves and maintains health, but does not zap all my energy for my mind.  That I don't devote so much time to my health and entertaining my mind that I do not feed my spirit food (scripture, prayer).  


For session 4, I also read excerpt from the new Made to Crave for Young Women book.  I think a statement in this this summed up session 4.  "Seeking legitimate things illegitimate ways."  This session is on replacing lies with truth.  It again encouraged me to keep memorizing scripture.  What I want is legitimate, but am I seeking the right way to get there or am I seeking the easy route.  What would happen if Jesus did this?  Satan tempted Him to be the king over all the nations, if only He bow down to satan.  It is legitimate  outcome, but Jesus did not take the easy - wrong way.  He went through the cross to get there and brought me with Him.  For that, I am eternally grateful.

MTC Session 1 and 2

My life group for Made to Crave is coming to a close.  Over the next few weeks I'll write insights I received from this study the second time around.


Session 1:
It was during this session, along with my other Bible study and church messages that I felt the Holy Spirit's conviction to start memorizing scripture.  Do to some health issues over the past two weeks, I've not done so well.  I plan to get a new verse to focus on soon.   


Session 2:
It was during this session that God revealed that my no sweets way of eating wasn't temporary.  Until I live in a different culture, that is the way I need to live right now.  With access to sweets on every corner and lurking in over half the grocery store, I just need to abstain completely.  And I'm Ok with that.  It reminded me of 


No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it. Hebrews 12:11


My righteousness and peace is coming through by the self sacrifice endurance of discipline to move from a place of self-reliance to God-reliance.  That the blessings of God are abundant to those who follow His ways.


In all this, I draw closer to my Father.  I know Him and my love for Him is growing.

MTC Study

Made to Crave Review
Page 43 in the participant guide.  Giving up secrecy and taking responsibility for my choices (adapted slightly).


This blog helped me open up more to express those thoughts that would float around, sometimes forgotten.  I am gaining confidence in what I write, what God is revealing, in my as His child.  Confidence where God is leading me.


Pondering my thoughts, often repetitive.  It can be exhausting at times to go over the same thought over and over.  This study has yet again reminded me (along with some revelation God sent my way) that I need to quit wishing certain things were different.  Either I need to drop the desire for change or seek God's plan for change and follow through.  

I, of course, chose God's plan.  I don't want to stay in my little box, only seeing the impossible, only to see how hard change would be.

No Sugar

This isn't a sugar free recipe.

This is about something I said I could never ever do.  It's about digging deep to that place most don't want to go and are scared of what lies beyond.

Total obedience.

Yes, my story of no sugar goes there.  To the place God calls us.  He called me here for years.  And for years I simply stated, I can't.  You don't know what you're asking me God if you call me to do that.

But He did know.  Long ago He saw food was an issue for me, long before I reached weights in the 200s, long before I made food choices on my own (when I lived with my parents).  He gave a little thing called hypoglycemic, which is low blood sugar.  It's where my body produces to much insulin in response to sugar.  My dr. said I would outgrow it by the time I was 21. 

Well I'm well past 21 and it hasn't happened yet.  And the logic side of low blood sugar is that you should eat more sugar.  However that leads to even more spiked insulin and a more vicious cycle.  Sad, but true, the best thing for low blood sugar is no sugar.

Yet for over twenty years I ignored the best thing to treat it, because life just wouldn't be worth living without sugar.

Last summer, I had it all in place.  Well maybe.  I had followed His leading to get to a healthy weight.  I exercised when I could, lived and active life.  My friend did the summer study of Made to Crave by Lysa TerKeurst.

In her book she said it was a demon that she battle.  She battled it and came out victorious of the hold sugar had on her life.

Well that's great for her, I thought, but I could never do that.  Fortunately God isn't calling me to do that.

Ahem...wait a minute.  He did call me, I just said no.  I said I couldn't.  I said I didn't want to.  I said there is no way I can do that, it's asking me to do something to hard, especially in summer with there's ice cream to be had.

Then He whispered to me.  You gave up soda.  You loved soda.  You drank so much it gave you an ulcer and you gave it up.  You gave it up for your health.  Why can't you give up sugar for Me?

John 21:15 excerpt "do you love me more than these?”

He wants to be the only thing I craved.  The only thing I seek when I have a longing in my heart.  He wants me to make Him my all.  To die to my desires and say yes to Him.

That was enough to call it quits.  Those three pounds that I struggled to lose only to gain left.  I felt good.  It was great to say no each time a delicious sugary snack was presented to me (which was a lot with our Life Group and my family).  I did it for almost two months and then felt at peace over having a little sugar here and there.

Fast forward to Oct. and I slowly went sugar crazy.  I had a lot and still a lot and this went on until Christmastime.  Those few pounds came back.  My middle turned fluffy (which is where sugar likes to live on my body).  

God gently spoke again and called me to give up sugar again.  It was a week before Christmas.  Oh, I didn't want to hear it.  I had just bought my favorite creamer and wanted it.  I wanted that creamer and those chocolate chip cookies more than God.  Ouch, it hurts to write it out.  I lived in full disobedience for the next week.  Then I prayed for that Spirit-power to come back after Christmas.  I was ready then to do it.  

I'll be honest, I didn't feel the same consuming power like I had the week before when God spoke.  Yet, on Dec. 27 I decided to stop.  I pray to God in weakness.  Each day I am stronger.  I even went through TOM successfully.  Oh how I wanted brownies.

Last summer I knew it would end.  I tried not to focus on that, yet in my heart I knew it would end.  This time, I don't for see it ending.  I feel stronger, more in tune with God each day I say no thank you.  

I shared my experience of last summer before the sugar attack of Oct. occurred.  Someone said, God made all these wonderful foods, why wouldn't He want us to enjoy it.  Why would He call me to give up sugar?

Well, He called ME to give up sweets.  You need to spend time with Him to see if He wants you to do it.  He knew in my heart I often put those sugary treats before Him.  I would think of when I could get my treat instead of thinking when can I spend time with God.  He knows me and knows what is best for me.

To break down what I gave up is cookies, cakes, candy...you get the picture.  I don't find a sugar free option because that misses the point.  I do use honey to sweeten my oatmeal that I eat for breakfast.  I know some love honey, not me.  I don't like the taste of straight honey so I only use enough to counter the blandness of oats.  It's about giving up those food that monopolize my thoughts from time to time.  I haven't given up peanut butter or ketchup, both have sugar, since I don't ever recall waking up wanting a big bowl or ketchup.  

I don't use artificial sweeteners either, which don't agree with my body.  I use Stevia, a natural sweetener, randomly when I have coffee (less than once a week). 

Part of the reason He's calling me to do this again is I accepted His call to lead a Made to Crave study at my church.  If I'm going to be an encouragement to others I need to do what God is calling me to do.

What is He calling you to do?  What will you give up to say Yes?