Bringing to light how I pursued my kingdom has revealed other areas I sought to glorify me. It is hard, but I am thankful. I lay down me so I can pursue God's Kingdom. I won't do it perfectly, but God isn't calling me to perfect - not just yet. He's calling me to trust and step out in faith.
If my hand is out wanting love, then I do not love.
God is teaching me to love fully. He has poured His knowledge into me. He has equipped me with understanding of His ways. That dry spell I felt wasn't because I needed to know more or that someone needed to spiritually move me with their teachings, activities or ??? I'm at a point where learning shouldn't be the priority, it's learning to act out of love. Practice to improve, to be in more situations where it may be hard to love, but love anyway.
Love as the other person needs, not to expect anything in return.
Love by walking with others, not condemning them and holding the bar high and expecting them to live up to it (I mainly do this with one person and am working hard to stop.)
Love by taking care of their needs, serving them.
Removing me and my needs from the equation, for I trust God to provide.
This is God's Kingdom - Love God, Love Others.
To live out the verse God has shown is my life verse:
and if you spend yourselves in behalf of the hungry
and satisfy the needs of the oppressed,
then your light will rise in the darkness,
and your night will become like the noonday.
Isaiah 58:10 [underline added]