Being Undone - luxury

If you're like much of the mid-west, you're currently under a freeze.  Schools cancelled or delayed.  I am tucked in my warm house, a fire in the fireplace, warm breakfast in my tummy and a hot cup of tea in my hand.

Then I peruse the morning news with at statement like this on a local shelter:

"There is also an elevator that will allow those who use wheelchairs to have access to the sleeping quarters upstairs. In the past, those men would have to sleep in their wheelchairs. Craig Liparoto is one of them.
“It’s great! A luxury,” he said. “I’m grateful.”

This man thinks it is a luxury to have a bed.  M-W.com defines luxury as:

: a condition or situation of great comfort, ease, and wealth
: something that is expensive and not necessary

: something that is helpful or welcome and that is not usually or always available

 

A warm place to sleep is "not necessary, not always available."  I don't know how this man got to where he is, it doesn't matter to me.  For God has called me to spend myself on behalf of the oppressed.  As tears fall for a man I don't know, for the ones I was blessed to know, my heart breaks for what breaks God's heart.  I go confidently unto the next step.  

The Joy of Expectation

In the morning, Lord, you hear my voice; in the morning I lay my requests before you and wait expectantly. Psalm 5:3

Waiting expectantly on God is pure joy.  I've received affirmation after affirmation that I'm in the right spot where God wants me.  I'm at a point where I'm allowing Him to work in my heart, in my life and through me.  

As I've wrote before about my own plans and how they were not God's plan.  Although I prayed that if it wasn't in His will that I'd be OK with the demise of my plans.  But it didn't stop me to keep making plans, seeking something from this world.  Now that I'm plugged fully into His plans.  Fully enjoying where He has me here and what He has me doing (that was a big break through!)

God has given me great peace at where I'm at.  I have submitted to finishing counseling training.  I am committed to further simplify things around my house so it runs smoother, more efficient.  

He has put in front of me many times - I have plans for you.  God's plans are good.  Trust in My plan for you.  Stop trying to make your own way.  It has to start with Me and you before we can take you to the world.  

He has good for me.  I know He has something great for me to do beyond volunteer extraordinaire.  All the things He has me doing are valuable.  I just know there is more, but first I must wait for the training to finish - both inside of me and counseling.  I look joyfully and expectantly to what He has in store.  It's like waiting for the big surprise.  It's leaving my heart open to any possibility - for He is a God of possibility.  Grasp it!  Let it sink in.  He has a plan for you to!

This is a Test

I put in a prayer request:  God's wisdom as I work with doctors concerning my knee and discipline to do what I need to do to rest the knee over the next month.

No sooner than it became public did I receive a test.  I get a call from Kat's principal.  They need a short term position filled and he thought of me first.

Flip back a few years ago.  My daughters in school full time.  I felt a huge pressure to find a full time job.  This pressure was from outside my immediate family - like my dad, the world in general.  I still couldn't handle the thought of Kat being in childcare.  If she was available to be with me, I wanted to be available to be with her. 

Logical choice was to work for the school in some way.  I'm not a teacher, so that was out.  I pleaded with the principal for a job so that I could have something to do with my time.  Good thing he didn't allow that crazy woman to work for him besides subbing a few time (a part time career that took a nose dive quick). 

This job offer, although temporary, would lead to a permanent position, at least year to year, if I took it.  It meant I would need to give up the volunteer work I do.  The Bible study class I'm in.  Quiet study time for counseling training (CT).  Oh, and that rest my knee needs. 

I talked with Dale before saying no, but I knew I had to say no.  I would have grasp my own dream, desire, not what God had for me.  I would do more damage to my knee in hopes of getting a job to please the world. 

For that obedience, my Wednesday schedule was cleared off so I could finish the work I have for CT that starts back up next week.

And before we have a cheer over my obedience, I wavered throughout the afternoon.  Not in terms of calling him back to take the positions.  In terms of envisioning a job at the school and being on Kat's schedule, ect.  The ease (or so I think) of such a job.  That's worldly ease at that.  I simply had a stern talk and reminded myself of God's plan for me and the trust I have in those plans.  If I am to work at the school, God will open the door for me to do so and that is the end of that.

My Big Flaw Part 2

Brothers and sisters, if someone is caught in a sin, you who live by the Spirit should restore that person gently. But watch yourselves, or you also may be tempted.  Galatians 6:1

To elaborate more on the last post, I struggled over being the reason someone was withdrawing from a part of God in her life (not sure the extent).  I cried and mourned for her.  Satan used it to spur doubt over my current calling.  My God has revealed much over the past week.

1.  My comments - unknowingly- were just the straw on the camel's back - it wasn't the sole reason (why flatter myself).  That this sweet lady has other issues He is working in her.

2.  That in my new ministry I may say the wrong thing.  I will undoubtedly fail at some point.  I need to trust Him through the whole process.  I fail when I don't make Him the center.  Trust God for the change in me that He has planned.  Trust for the work He has me to do.

3.  Trust that although the work will be personal, I need His perspective on things.  As God is working on a heart, that heart may rebel and I may be the one who take the second most brunt of it (for God always receives the bigger offense).  I am called to be slow to be offended, quick to forgive and focus on the issue.  Not dwell on the past or what should have been, but to in love get to work with how things are right now.

4.  To know when I fail, I can be the Christ like example.  To be humble, ask for forgiveness and seek to restore the relationship.

Victory!

Candy,
Candy,
Candy....
It's all around.  This year, I've made wiser choices.  This year, I've experienced victory - courteous of my Lord and Savior Jesus.

I'm going strong with my no sweets eating.  I did partake in a few bites randomly when it was part of the experience, but the times are few and far between.  

October is usually a month of anguish for me.  I want to diet - to look good for the holidays, yet the abundance of candy and sweet are to tempting for me.  Look at that sentence, it was all about me.  Last year this time I was deep into eating whatever, not caring for my health.  Needless to say when Christmas came around and God called me to give up sugar, I needed to obey on so many levels - both spiritually and physically.

My experience yesterday.  Kat came home from her travels around the neighborhood.  In her stash:  3 Musketeer bar.  Full size, not one of the bite size (which she had as well).  It struck me that this candy bar is a comfort food for me.  It is part of my earliest memories.  Yes, I remember being 3 years old and asking for this candy bar.  However, I've learned to turn to God for comfort, not food.  What a journey to get there.  I'm not perfect with it yet (ask me about a week before my cycle), but this is great victory and I'm celebrating!  

Other things I did this year:

I didn't buy a big stash in the off chance we would get a lot of visitors.  My rural community could go either way.  I decided that if I ran out, I ran out.  BTW, I didn't run out.  Next, I stuck to non-chocolate candy.  Yes, I know it isn't a favorite with the kids.  My waist line and victory is more important than that.  I knew and acknowledge if I bought our favorites, I would be at a greater risk of "just this once."  Now I'm not.

Yes, victory is wonderful.  I will continue to call on God to help me stand firm on this point.  To help me choose to obedience over my whelms of the day.  God will help you, just ask.  Seek His will.

Another Affirmation

I may sound like I'm grasping at any justification for my actions, however I'm at a point in my walk that anything that brings God's call on my life into clarity it something to be grasp and recorded.  I mean clarity as in understanding the WHY behind the request and have another weapon against any guilt that tries control me.

Keep watch over yourselves and all the flock of which the Holy Spirit has made you overseers. Be shepherds of the church of God, which he bought with his own blood.  Acts 20:28

What caught my eye is the Holy Spirit has made you.  The Holy Spirit has assigned you to your work.  And if He hasn't assigned you, you shouldn't be doing it.  To me it says: Don't lead because no one else does, trust that God will fulfill the need and allow time for the chosen one to respond to the Spirit's conviction. 

Does this mean that something might not get done when we want it done?  You betcha.  Does this mean that someone might fight with God, have a stubborn  heart about the call He placed on them?  Of course.  Does this mean I help the situation by doing it all for everyone?  No, I do not help.

Keep to the Path.

How It Could Be

The Spirit wouldn't let me go resting in the joy of God's affirmation.  Why it is so great is the change in me that allowed me to see it all.

Discontent would have been my attitude.  I would have been frustrated.  I would have blamed D or K for somehow moving what I was looking for.  Yet those thoughts never came until I looked for the difference.

Discontent over not having a greater work than caring for my home and family.  The world (and my father) dictates that an able, educated woman should seek full time employment so to make more money so we can have more things, hire someone to clean my home, eat junk because I deserved not to cook...oh I could go on, but you get the picture.

Thoughts of why things never stay where I put them.  Why couldn't things go smoothly?  Why must I be plagued with all these little frustrations that are causing others to be inconvenienced?  I would have been angry, full of self-pity and just plan ugly.  Oh, and I wouldn't have time to exercise or eat well either, because I need that food to make me 'feel' better.

Yes, looking at all the possible reactions to this circumstance, I can only praise God all the more.  For He has changed me.  I am being sanctified and enabled to respond to the circumstance with truth, not react with selfishness.  Any attempt at a bad attitude I quickly spoke truth and did not allow the thoughts to run free in my mind.

God is good!!

Affirmation

I love it when I'm going down a path and God sends affirmation.  With each day, my trust in Him grows and I am enabled to kick doubt to the curb.  I don't have time to doubt.

However, I'll take affirmation anytime God wants to give.  Its that little extra 'you're doing well' that keeps me going on His path.

I had a meeting to pass on a service project that I headed up this past year.  I knew several months ago that God didn't want me doing that over the next year.  I've posted about giving up some service to focus on counselor training.  I stood firm even when the person pressed for me to come help.  Fortunately she understood the importance to obedience over the desires of men.

I came home from that meeting to an email from a friend who loaned me a DVD for the Made to Crave study I led earlier this year.  She needed the DVD back.  I looked all around the house, where did I put it so I wouldn't lose it?  The words from yesterday's post on why I cleaned my garage where in my head.  

Over the past month I have misplaced two other things.  One - an important quote with house measurements my brother gave me, the other - our well used desk dictionary.  I like to look up the words I don't know while reading.  I had bought another dictionary, but with the DVD I had three things missing.  I turned to God, as I had done on my other attempts to find the missing items, not allowing frustrations to impede my search.  I was able to declutter a few baskets while I searched.  I wondered what God was trying to teach me.

When my daughter came home, she needed dice to play a game her teacher sent home.  In looking in a game for dice, she found the quote.  (It had clung to a game board that we played several weeks ago.)  I praised her and God.  She was excited to tell Daddy and I put a call into my brother, who was relieved not to have to measure again.  

I began discussing the DVD with D and how I couldn't find it.  I said I found the books, one in a basket, one on the bookshelf.  As I thumbed the bookshelf again, I found the DVD, it had slid back behind two books.  With a high-five praise God, we were amazed that we had found two of our lost items in just an hour.

Getting ready for our evening activities, K needed to get her water bottle from her room.  In the process, she found the dictionary.  Amazing.

I know, I sound a little crazy, but praise God for this affirmation.  I knew He had something to teach me.  He waited until I needed three items before opening my eyes to find them.  

It's not that our house is total disaster zone, either.  I don't want to down play the need for me to take better care of my home, in doing so, take better care of my family.  This is a point God is working in me.  To be content in the work He gave me today and allow Him to lead me to the work He has for me.  I don't need to fill up my time with doing that I'm not serving.