It was an underlying story line in a recent TV movie. It was like three sentences in the whole movie. It was not the main point by far. Yet, when I'm listening for God to speak, I'm listening to everything. God has directed me through many people, many words that, in context, would not apply. However, listen, God speaks.
For me it spoke of tight hips, um yes, that is part of my physical problem. The movie alluded to a solution (again, minor fraction for the movie), but didn't come right out to say it. I knew from my extensive exercise knowledge what it meant. I prayed about it and found my library had a DVD. I asked God if this was from Him... I didn't get back any negatives, so I proceeded to check out the DVD, trusting it wouldn't take long for me to figure it out.
I watched the DVD through. Not bad. It struck me that the instructor used these perfectly tall, beautiful dancers to execute the moves. She (the instructor) on the other hand was an apple shape. Then the question arises in my heart? Do I want to do an exercise program that the instructor looks like that? I continue to watch the video. In an interview with the instructor, they show her demonstrating some of the moves. She is strong. Overall, I thought I could do the workout, not because it looked easy, but it was slow and focused on building core muscle.
Then the past me kicked in: measure so I can KNOW how much I lose. Monitor it, I have to if I want this great testimony, right? Again, I wondered about the woman's body. Then it hit me, my focus was on the wrong thing, again. So thankful that God has patience with me! Measurements are linked to vanity for me. I wanted numbers to show that I improved. I couldn't just rely on how I felt and the way my clothing fit, could I?
Yes, I changed my focus. My body shape and size left. If I can be as strong as the instructor was at 80, yes that's right, 80, then I don't care how I'm shaped, how much I weigh. I want to the strength. I know that strength has many great purposes for serving God.
For now, that's all I'll share. I'll save my journey of doing the program for later, when I have a better testimony. It's a major break through to get my mind aligned with God about my body.