Soldier Up

³ Endure hardship with us like a good soldier of Christ Jesus. ⁴ No one serving as a soldier gets involved in civilian affairs—he wants to please his commanding officer. 2 Timothy 2:3-4
I never been a soldier in the armed forces.  I know several who have and pray for those who are serving now.  When this verse came up in my daily devo, I had to pause and do further study.  I also needed to write.

Endure hardship like a good soldier.  A soldier is focused on their job.  They know their life and the lives of their fellow soldiers depend on it.  Their thoughts are consumed with what they need to do for their commanding officer.  Being a soldier isn’t always their first choice of service in life.  They usually have dreams and desires they gave up to be the soldier.  Or have plans when the service is done.

Being called into service for my commanding officer, Jesus, is a never ending post.  Towards the beginning of December last year, I struggled a lot with the things I needed to do to fulfill the duties of a soldier and the things I wanted to do as a civilian.  Fortunately, the soldier duties won out most of the time. 

As I struggled and prayed.  I knew full well my civilian desires were very selfish.  I had asked to be submerged in God’s word, yet bulked the idea when it interfered in my planned down time.  I did what I needed to do, however my attitude wasn’t the best at times.  I was a soldier getting involved in civilian affairs.  In another version it says ‘gets entangled’.  This gave me a vision of stepping in thick mud, heavy snow or a spider’s web.  It makes the going rough. 

It helped me to grasp and cling to God’s view.  I wanted my way, not God’s way.  I humbled myself to give up what I wanted/planned.  I had developed an ideal of how I thought things should go – a healthy body to go on missions trips.  A ease in counseling training so that I could counsel women.  An opportunity to read the books I wanted to read.  A time to watch movies and work on projects I deemed important.  A clean and organized home. 

Ok, that last one does fall into what God has planned, yet not in a way that it becomes a idol or a time in which I make it a higher priority to the people God has called me to love.

I need to free my feet of entanglements to fully step into being the soldier He has called me to be; to bring Him glory and to please Him.  Fortunately, He doesn’t treat me roughly, but will help me give up me and fight in Him.

Why? Back on a Shelf

Waking up with a headache, sore muscles and already feeling behind is not a good way to start the day.  The headache and sore muscles are from the workout that I kicked it up a notch.  And a glass of water did wonders for the headache.

I also woke up with the big why weighing on my heart.  Why did he do it?  Why is he gone?  He was loved.  All of his brothers and sisters (including me) thought of him as our best friend - how can one person be best friends with all his sibling?  How could he just leave this big void in our lives.

It's been 14 years since he left this world and sometimes, it feels like it happened today.  I haven't had these thoughts in a while.  A gal in my Bible group lost her brother right after Christmas and my path yesterday took me by his current earthly home. 

Most times my thoughts are good when I think of my brother.  Then sometimes I get a flood of sorrows.  What he has missed - my daughter.  He loved children and I know she would have amazed him.  She sometimes reminds me of him with her thinking.

I changed that day 14 years ago.  I changed deep within.  I started taking steps back to God, for that I'm grateful.  Now a smile for my face, joy in my heart.  I'll put that why back on a shelf.  I don't like looking at it to often.  It can wait until I leave this earth or never - to be answered. 

And to leave you with a joke he often told me to make me laugh -
A guy walks into Burger King and orders a Big Mac.  (Did I mention I worked at Mickey Ds in high school?)

Another Note on Feelings

My previous post could have sounded a bit like I was above my feelings.  I am on some points, however, I am still female, full of hormones, still human, subject to physical conditions (like lack of sleep or pain).   

Feelings can sneak in.  They can grow so gradually that you don’t know they’re are there until one day you bark a innocent bystander into a corner to give you your way.

I’m learning that to walk closer with God, I need to be in tune with the Holy Spirit – which takes practice and Bible study (pray for this if you don’t have it and then be willing to start).  The Holy Spirit is there to convict me when my feelings get out of hand and cause me to sin.  Remember, it isn’t the feelings that are wrong – it is the sin that often accompanies the sin.

In your anger do not sin; when you are on your beds, search your hearts and be silent. Selah  Psalm 4:4

When a feeling is overwhelming and just not going away or it pops into my head and I know it’s wrong (such as feeling slighted), I take it to God.  I search His word for the correct thoughts and what He says about how I feel.  The sermon on the mount usually humbles me into right thinking.  I keep at it until joy returns to me.  Feelings are just another thing to humble me, keeps me on my knees to seek my God.  For that, I am thankful.  

Do Not Live By Feelings

 We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed. 2 Corinthians 4:8-9

I’ve been aware of my feelings of late.  There are times when I am anxious, but peaceful.  Depressed, but full of hope.  Sad, but joyful.  Fearful, but bold.  I recognized these are feelings, yet they are not the state in which I am resting. 

Feelings are temporary.  They are often in response to circumstance of right now.  A big event about to take place.  A disappointment over something not going my way.  All temporary.  I am learning that feelings do not dictate who I am or how I respond.  God calls me to respond with other’s well-being in mind, not my selfish agenda that my feelings would like me to execute. 

I praise God for showing me that I do ‘feel’ something, yet my inner being is at peace.  I continue to have a thankful heart.  I continue to look at Him and trust Him for whatever the emotion is about.

Life Principle:  I live by God’s Word.  My feelings do not dictate who I am and what I am to do.

Opposition: Experience

² Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, ³ because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. ⁴ Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. James 1:2-4

Trials proves faith.  In my suffering I am able to experience spiritual fruit to a new level.  Had I not known depression, could I experience a overflowing joy as I do?  Had I not felt despair in which there appeared no hope, could I have the peace from the hope I now cling to?

So then, because I knew the depths of horrors of this world, I can know the immeasurable greatness of God. 

Opposition: Weak Flesh

⁷ To keep me from becoming conceited because of these surpassingly great revelations, there was given me a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me. ⁸ Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. ⁹ But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. ¹⁰ That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.  2 Corinthians 12:7-10

When the opposition Life Principle was revealed to me, I didn’t know what was going on with my knee.  I had made some progress with my right hip and was ready to work on building up muscle again.  Yet, with the increasing pain in the knee and the Dr. declaration that surgery may be the only option, I was felt defeated. 

I resisted it, yet it hung over me like a dark cloud.  Perhaps this is why it was so darn easy to stick my hand into the cookie jar.  Fortunately I am being trained not to keep looking at the problem, but to see God in the problem.  He reminded me of two friends that deal with extreme pain on a daily basis, yet they keep on, keepin’ on.  Although at times they ‘feel’ discouraged, they never allow that to paralyze them into inaction.  They reach out for God, for encouragement. 

Part of the dark cloud was my desire to go out and serve God – this included mission’s work.  I already agreed to postpone going on a trip because I knew I could not take climbing a mountain to the village. 

If God called me to this mission field, He will enable me. 

²⁰ May the God of peace, who through the blood of the eternal covenant brought back from the dead our Lord Jesus, that great Shepherd of the sheep, ²¹ equip you with everything good for doing his will, and may he work in us what is pleasing to him, through Jesus Christ, to whom be glory for ever and ever. Amen. Hebrews 13:20-21

God knows my hurt knee, hurt hip, back, ect.  He knows.  And if He knows, He will not call me to do anything that He will not enable me to do beforehand.  Perhaps it is just my own desire to go on this mission trip.  Perhaps not.  What I do know is that God will equip me for the work He has for me.  And if my flesh is full of pain, then the work will take that pain as part of the plan.  In this I can trust.

Life Principle:  My body may fail and hurt, yet it is perfect for all the work in which God calls me to.

Bring on Opposition

Do I really mean that? 

⁶ In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. ⁷ These have come so that your faith—of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire—may be proved genuine and may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed. ⁸ Though you have not seen him, you love him; and even though you do not see him now, you believe in him and are filled with an inexpressible and glorious joy, ⁹ for you are receiving the goal of your faith, the salvation of your souls.  1 Peter 1:6-9

All kinds of trials come so that my faith is proved genuine.  The goal of my faith is my salvation – my sanctification.

When opposition comes, do I shrink in fear?  Do I speak God’s truth?  Only in opposition does my faith get stretched, my spiritual muscles grow stronger, that I mature in Christ.  I learn to further rely on God for my life. 

When opposition comes I can focus on the positive or the negative.  I can be paralyzed or mobilized.  Faith is keep on, keepin’ on, no matter the circumstances.  For I trust God and His plans for me.  This led to two more revelation that I will post soon.

Life Principle:  I need opposition to be strong in Christ.  Only through opposition is my faith proved genuine.