Wednesday, November 28, 2012

Happy for you

A friend today finally came public on her success to have two books published.  I am very happy for her.  Yes, I aspire one day to be a novelist, I can truly say I'm happy for her and hope she has great success - along with looking forward to reading her work.

Yet, because of my own dream, I'm a little disheartened.  With myself, not her.  See I struggle with sharing my work, I posted on that before.  At different points I even felt God called me to give up this dream.  However, it comes back.  I'm disheartened because her bravery shows my cowardice. 

I flash back to kindergarten (come walk with me there).  It was the first time I remember having a whole room laugh at me and awakening a desire for it never to happen again.  I was alone in my play center and my teacher neglected to notice the rest of my group was absent.  I quietly played, put the babies to bed and sat down with my pretend cup of tea in the rocker.  A little boy pointed at me and said, "Hey look, she looks like a grandma."  Everyone laughed.  And did I mention my hair was in a bun?

It seems funny now.  I was so embarrassed and wished it to never happen again.  As any introvert knows, embarrassing things happen often. 

Fortunately, I've come along way.  Especially once I committed my life to God.  That memory is with me though.  It is a tool satan uses to keep me from moving forward.  I commit my writing to God.  If  When He sends someone my way to read my stories, I will give it out.  Writing is a gift God gave me for His glory, to be given to others.  To help them in their walk with God.

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