Friday, November 9, 2012

Doubt creeps in

I shared my victory and now I'll share my doubt.  It was hard to write about during the two weeks doubt pressed on my heart.  Dread came as well, because I thought about last year and how I got into a funk that lasted several months and included me going on a sugar binge.  

What happened?  Not really important.  Now that I look back, it was little incidents that magnified in my mind.  I already shared a few issues I took care of like projects that need finished or put away for later.  My lessons were on tough subjects that condemnation pressed in.  

Through it all, I repeated God's ways, His words, I countered every lie in my head with His truth and asked for Him to show me.  

That He did.  I made my lessons about me.  I made the projects about me.  I made a lot of things about me.  To be honest, when things are about me, I'm not nearly as dedicated or motivated to stick with it.  I've let myself down so many times that it's expected to fall short.  

As I cried out for direction, I put going to bed early for search of God's message.  It wasn't about me.  Thankfully, when it's about others I'm motivated.  When it's for God, I can't be stopped.  Why?  Because He is behind it.  It took a couple days for my emotions to catch up with my head.  During those days, God managed my time, helped me to focus.  I was able to do what I thought would take twice as long.  I ticked along in awe of the God I serve.  

God is so good.

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