God gave me clarity on the cycle I go through. With this knowledge I can and will be on guard against the attack on my thinking. It's breaking a link in the old rusty chain that weigh me down.
It starts usually with a goal. Say a desire to lose weight (for this is one goal I've visited much in my life). Yes, the initial process lists healthy and glory to God. It is an attitude of accepting who I am and how I will be patient to get where God is leading.
Then misplaced desire will creep in, via a photo or movie. Then my thoughts become obsessed with how to attain the new goal, to take things in my own hand to make it happen and happen now. Gone is patience, acceptance or any other good attitude. Determination sets in and it brings all the laws that go with it. I'm not a Bible scholar, but I know law means death. Yet I still succumb to the laws. I will do this and I won't do that . . . ugh! Where do the laws lead, you guessed it - compromise. 'Well I will just put this on hold, just for this one meal, one snack, one day', which of course leads to more compromise, more determination, more laws and ultimately more failure.
This is just where the enemy wants me. I'm not glorifying God. I'm not following His plan for me. I'm allowing my soul to die in order to live under the law. I am full of guilt, disappointment and worldly desire. That sums up to me being ineffective in my walk with God.
Then the funny thing happens. When the Spirit finally gets through to me that this process is happening and I'm not glorifying God, what do I do? I am determine to stop. Good right? Not when I'm determined to stop on my own. For I can't do it. The thoughts are still there. No matter how much to try to divert my thoughts, the world is full of reminders to bring you right back to the thoughts and attitude that I shouldn't have.
Humbly, I fall to my knees and ask the one who can make it stop to send His grace to me. Only by the power of Christ can I change. Only by Him will my heart be softened and my focus centered on Him. He so graciously gives, welcomes me back, refocuses me on Him and His goals for me. Thank you Jesus.