My Thorn

**I wrote this last summer when I first thought of blogging and didn't.  It's still a great post and it explains more my post here.**

A thorn in my side is overeating, or gluttony.  God has given me victory over this sin, although from time to time I pick up all the laws I enforced on myself with it and struggled when I go my way, not God’s.  Thankfully, He forgives and welcomes me back after He disciples me and reveals to me what I’m doing.

I recently was asked to join a study group that focuses on our thought towards food.  I did one on my own several years ago and that is when God delivered me.  At first I didn’t want to do this study, then I thought perhaps a review would help and maybe there’s something at the end that will help me, because what I’ve read for the beginning is things I’ve already worked through.  I hoped for more, but wasn’t certain that I’d get it.

Of course that isn’t a reason to not be obedient, since once I say I got it, then I don’t because I will always need God to delivery me from this on a moment by moment basis (this wrote after eating one to many no-bake cookies). 

At the meeting, God brought back to mind what I had stored away and I was able to share with the group.  Now I can see He wants me to write this out so I can read this.  For the long intro, this is my reminders...

Be alert for my own tendency to make food or me an idol.  Make me an idol you ask.  Yes, when I focus on me and how I will look and compliment I hope to get and what clothes I might get to wear...I’m making me an idol.  Food as an idol is constant thought of my next meal...what I will have, where I’ll eat and a tendency to overeat.

I’ve read or heard the parable of the rich man about ten times over the past month (Matthew 19:16-22).  I am to seek God, follow Jesus, more than I am to want anything or hold onto anything in this world.  I am to look around me and be willing to give it all up if God should call me to do so.  My only goal on this earth is to follow Jesus and live like He did.

“...we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.” 2 Corinthians 10:5.  When thoughts about food or my body enter my head...I am to turn them over to God.  It’s a prompt to pray.

I struggled over a month with the following passage from the sermon on the mount.

Matthew 5:38-42  “You have heard that it was said, ‘Eye for eye, and tooth for tooth.’ But I tell you, do not resist an evil person. If anyone slaps you on the right cheek, turn to them the other cheek also.  And if anyone wants to sue you and take your shirt, hand over your coat as well.  If anyone forces you to go one mile, go with them two miles.  Give to the one who asks you, and do not turn away from the one who wants to borrow from you.”  It just isn’t easy to think this way, but in doing so means I’m poor in the spirit (therefore the kingdom of Heaven is mine Matthew 5:3).  It’s hard not to feel I have rights, but really I don’t, not on this world.  I have God promises which are real, on earth, nothing lasts.  Remember to give without expecting back.  Remember to share even if it means “mine” will be damaged.  Remember I don’t deserve to eat what I want because of the day I had.  It’s a pleasure to do the work before me that my Lord has laid out.  This of course does not mean I can’t relax and enjoy the abundant life the Lord has given me, it’s just having the righteous, humble attitude knowing I am just dust.

And the last bullet points:

At any point I put my plans in front of God’s plan for me, I FAIL.

At any point I say I got this God, I FAIL.