I have this compulsive side that likes to know. I want to plan, I want to have it all aligned. Of course, it is completely differently to what faith is about and trusting God**. Just another example of me needing to lay my life down to follow God. He calls His people to a land of the unknown (Abraham), He calls us to battle with few resources (Gideon) and uses us in ways we couldn't imagine (Mary, but just about everyone who ever loved God.)
In this God is working great things in me so I can die to self. When I want to plan and make decisions on my own on how things should be, I am focused on self. I don't take into account others, nor do I really consider God.
In Bible study, I was reminded of a time when I used the following verse to remain focused on work, not on the pain of my foot (see this post.)
so I sent messengers to them with this reply: "I am carrying on a great
project and cannot go down. Why should the work stop while I leave it
and go down to you?" Neh 6:3.
And of course it applied to what I was doing with my self-focused planning. I was allowing it to be a distraction - which is what the men addressing Nehemiah wanted - to stop the Lord's work. As I reviewed the verse again, placed it above my kitchen sink again, the awe of the verse spoke to me. I challenged my planning and I called the distractions what they were - attempts to get me to stop working on the great project before me - God's Kingdom.
What is distracting you? What is consuming your thoughts? Fight with your husband? Fantasies of the perfect life? Food? Weight? The worldly storyline of your favorite show?
**(And I know all planning isn't out of God's will or sin for God wants His people to be prespared - I'm saying my self-focused planning was!)