It's a scary thought - to go back to a place where I failed so greatly. I knew it would probably happen and it did. I will serve as a leader next year where I failed four years ago. God has matured me greatly in the past four years, for that I am thankful. Godly courage isn't the absence of fear, it is the willingness to trust God, obey Him in the face of fear.
In studying the Life of Moses, I got to look at how Moses too was called back to where He had failed. He probably sensed God's calling for Him to lead the Israelites, but he went about it in the wrong way (murder.) After the humbling experience of the desert, God calls Moses back to where he failed. I learned that God focuses on our present faith and not our past failures.
In taking that to heart I know if I rely on God (which I should do!), there will be victory. God is giving me a second chance. He is a good God!
With that, God has shown me how those I lead before have grown closer to Him. Perhaps it wasn't just me that failed that year and was motivated to seek God.
During that year, I saw CV come out of her shell and talk openly.
JM went on to leadership within two years and now works full time in ministry.
CC, as quiet as she is, is beginning leadership, stepping out of her comfort zone in a big way.
SK isn't so focused on self now that she's leading others.
I know the other ladies went on to continue in the Lord. I'm not saying that I had a great influence in their lives, but I was a direct part of it for a year. God took that failure and in His normal godly way, turned it into BEAUTY!
So if failure is looming over you, don't let it get you down. Turn to God, return to Him and He will lift you up. Look at the beauty of the Cross and the victory of the Risen Christ. Once you get to the other side of a trial, you are at Victory!