Tuesday, March 4, 2014
Not my call
Each of you should use whatever gift you have received to serve others, as faithful stewards of God’s grace in its various forms. 1 Peter 4:10
I felt the need to step out of a ministry position I held for over a year, yet I felt to many were relying on me. See, the leader I helped announced she was leaving her position. That left a part time person to handle things until a new leader was in place. I couldn't just leave her. Our prior leader said I was one of the reasons she knew now was the time to leave for a new ministry because of all the key people she had the could run things until a new leader was in place.
All that to say I felt the demands to leave the service, yet I didn't. I learned a lot in the process. I was in the tough part of my classes to be a counselor and starting to write my exam. I had cut things down - including this blog - so I could devote my time to what God said to devote my time to. Yet, with this position I didn't.
But I learned grace to help the one who isn't confident in making decisions. It's not possible to overcommunicate during the times when things need to get done and very few workers.
Rely on God to fill the gap. He sent teens to help do some office work. He stretched supplies so that we had what we needed. He worked creativity of those involved so make what should have been a disaster into beauty. He grew a love within my heart in place of annoyance.
Then I sprained my foot. I knew I couldn't do the job with a hurt foot. With everything prepared I knew I should leave the service - yet I didn't. I continued along doing a little. Then it came time where they needed someone to do the work I did so I went back, foolishly thinking I was healed enough. But I hadn't. This time, I had to leave the position and I was quickly replaced.
Found out the one who replaced me prayed 6 months for a ministry! He was so very happy to have the opportunity to serve in this way. Happier about it than I think I ever was doing the work.
It made me wonder why I held on so tight to the position. All the times I wanted to give it up before I thought I was being selfish or...the list of lies goes on. God used my clinging to sanctify me. Perhaps He used it to help my replacement be willing to serve - I don't know the what ifs.
So what service might you be holding to tightly to? Has God asked you to move on and you've refused? What service has God called you to that you have refused to obey? We all have gifts, gifts meant for service.